Have you ever experienced that moment of frustration when it seems as if God, your best buddy, your travelling companion, your personal armour, has suddenly grown very obstinate? Do you get the feeling that He’s gazing languidly at the sea and the horizon when in fact He should be looking at you as you rave and rant about everything that has happened and is happening?
I had one such moment recently. I literally saw Him chewing gum like an adolescent, defiant and not interested in anything I had to say. And given that He himself was the subject of conversation, it seemed even more infuriating. There I was shaking my fist to the skies and saying, “Where are YOU?” “Why is it so difficult to get to where You are?” “What is it that I am not doing right?” “Why don’t You just sweep me off my feet like in the films—I mean who can compare to a knight in shining armour, if not YOU?”
And all I got in return was a “Ho Hum” look.
So letting the fist fall back on to the handlebar of my cycle, I shrugged in exasperation and peddled furiously, when from a side street, a motorcycle zoomed out and swerved just on time. The effect of fist-shaking had still not waned and so I gave the motorcyclist what in school was known as a “dagger”—a look that has the same effect that a sharp edged dagger would—and went on my way. But as the peddling reduced its ferocity, as the mind went from boiling to simmering, as the heart pumped few cells of peace at a time, I saw Him turn from looking into the distant horizon – His eyes were not glazed but very focused on me, right through me in fact. He was no longer chewing gum either. He looked and I almost skipped a beat. And then wordlessly He said, “You just glared at Me”. And He turned back to the sea.
The point went home like the dagger I had cast a few minutes ago. Straight inside, somewhere very deep and sensitive. He’s always around. Chewing gum or otherwise, but always around. In different guises and colours and shapes. In trees and dogs and zooming motorcyclists… it’s Him. And when I glare at any, I’m glaring at Him. I’m glaring at my best friend, my soul mate, my true love. I’m glaring at my Knight in shining armour. I’m glaring at God.
